Captain Save a Hoe!

So… Captain Save a Hoe, what does this mean in essence? Well, according to Urbandictionary.com, Captain Save a Hoe is:
1. Derived from a 1993 rap song by rapper E-40 about the adventures of a Financial Savior to under privileged inner city hood rats.
2. A Gold Digger's dream. A man that will drop dimes on you (i.e. get your hair and nails done, take care of your child, pay your bills).


Ok, so lets go with number 2... A GOLD DIGGERS DREAM. Now, the elusive gold digger has many forms and DON’T get that shit twisted cuz MEN are GOLD DIGGERS too. How do you recognize a gold digger?

First of all, whether it’s a man or a woman, gold diggers are usually BROKE… as hell. Like, don’t got two nickels to rub together broke. Secondly, know that they are the BEST LIARS, and do so CHRONICALLY! I like to believe that they lie so much, they actually believe their own lies. Lastly, they tend to play the VICTIM role… and some of them could win a Oscar’s for their damn performances.

They get in your head and play that good FRIEND role, they feed you their sob story… share dreams and goals with you, make it seem like they DO have their shit together…but what they really are, are the MASTERS of MANIPULATION. And, because they have now gotten you to CARE… you are right where they want you. Why? Because when you CARE, you are MORE LIKELY to help them out… when their certain situations arise.

So, when RECOGNIZING a gold digger look for certain signs- like if you go out and they never have money and they make hints at wanting certain things. There are also those who are SCAVENGERS when you go out with them, and they don’t ever got money to drink or smoke… but they’re always STRATEGICALLY there when blunts and bottles are being passed around. These people have a large social network because they need to have SEVERAL options. They are also like LEECHES and will suck you dry for everything you have right before they leave you for someone else who has what they want and/or needs.

Now, there are some dudes… who play their position right and by some MIRACLE get women to buy them shit. They talk a good game and usually LIE like their ass depends on it (and sometimes it does). They make these women DELUSIONAL… and then, RAPE their pockets. I would like to address those men by first saying: YOU’RE A MAN! MAN THE FUCK UP! Stop being a lil bitch, in all actuality, that is what you are doing… pulling a BITCH move and you get NO respect for that.

These men are usually SURROUNDED (but not always) by others of his kind… DOGS run in packs. They usually look good, smell good and act right, but it is ALL a FRONT! In all actuality, they are broke, but you usually don’t find that out until later. Now when you do ladies, KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB… I don’t know about you broads, but I REFUSE to take care of a GROWN ASS MAN. He is NOT handicapped, therefore, if I can bust my ass for mine, SO CAN YOU NICCA!

Women, we are in 2009... And therefore, your ass SHOULD BE independent. I always had a problem with depending on other people: 1. Because if you need something done right, you have to do it yourself and 2. Because NOTHING in this world is free, and I NEVER want to feel like I OWE someone something. So, I totally believe that things should be 50/50. Ladies have some remorse for the brothers, they work JUST as hard for their cash… and shouldn’t HAVE TO spend it all on your ass.

On to women who are gold diggers… I’ve seen bitches get dudes to pay for everything- and all the man got was a KISS. For one, brother, STOP BEING STUPID. If a bitch wanna fuck you, she’s gunna REGARDLESS of how much money you shell out. So stop trying to pay to play, most of the bitches you spend YOUR hard earned cash on… DO NOT even wanna fuck you. So, find someone else who DOES… even though, I know some dudes are really dumb enough to put themselves out there and offer it. For being a DUMB ASS… lmao, YOU DESERVE IT! Stop telling bitches how much you make in hopes of impressing her… REAL WOMEN, are NOT impressed by your bank account.

To the VICTIMS of gold diggers… I cannot address a certain gender, as this is 2009, and men are JUST as bad as the bitches are. STOP playing captain save a hoe. If you don’t know that’s your ROLE, take a good look at the person you fucking with… some examples:

- If you cant really ever think of a time THEY got YOU something…
- If you feel like they ALWAYS are asking for shit, and you get nothing in return… and NO sex doesn’t fucking count… (I know some of you think it does)
- If their ass ALWAYS smoking and drinking YOUR shit, and they NEVER got shit of their own…. (and they don’t even got 5 on it or go buy the damn blunt)…

If you said yes, to any one of these above- you may very well be a CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE! What to do now? Drop that broke ass mofo.

Next, on my agenda… I must address the other type of Captain Save a Hoe… cuz in my opinion too many damn people are out trying to save hoes that DO NOT want to be saved. Men and women do it… I’d say that women do it waaaaay more though.

Women like a challenge and like to play “fix it”. What do I say about that?? If its broken, chances are YOU can’t fix it. Women preoccupy themselves with what I like to call “PROJECTS” and she meets a man who is less than up to par, but she kinda likes him and what does she say? “He’ll change”… Bitch, your fucking delusional! The way you met that man is the way he will stay, unless HE wants to change. Who are you to think you can play GOD and change anything or anyone? A change comes from within a person, and it CANNOT be swayed by the opinions or actions of another person. If he’s a BUM ASS NICCA and shows no motivation or ambition… his ass DO NOT wanna change. Which means, cut your loses and MOVE ON.

I am so TIRED of bitches who think they can change a man… if he was a HOEIN ASS NICCA when you met him, what makes you think YOU can change that? And let’s not even start on the bitches who FUCK a dude in a RELATIONSHIP. Ok, so he left her and now he with you. Now, what makes you think YOUR special… if he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you… if you think not… YOUR FUCKIN IGNORANT, and don’t cry when his ass FUCK your best friend.

See… people, you set yourself UP FOR FAILURE. If you’re fucking with a person who you LIKE, then HOP OFF that shit when you see RED FLAGS. Most of you don’t hop off the bandwagon, because you hope they will change, or that you can HELP them change… but true story- THAT SHIT AINT HAPPENING. So stop wasting PRECIOUS TIME on “PROJECTS”… Time is money.

So… what have we learned today? 1. If you taking care of someone else- your not ONLY a CAPTAIN SAVE a HOE, you’re also a SUCKER MC! 2. If its BROKEN, don’t FIX it… and 3. You all need to stop setting yourself up to FAIL. You will NEVER be happy that way.
Until next time kids…