iNDIVIDUALISM is an iLLUSION

We live in a world where many people strive every day of their waking lives to be an individual. People try to develop their own styles, their own phrases, their own traits, their personalities. Yet, the media, the press, the internet set thousands of trends yearly, and worldwide for that matter. Celebrities are walking billboards for trends, and are modeled by many people. Therefore, when new trends are seen, people flock to them.

This goes more much deeper than the clichéd celebrities doing and wearing some new “cool” thing. It goes to the very heart of individualism, and deep down into the self. Who we are as individuals is an elusive thing. I say this because although many claim their stake at being an individual, many are sheep!

There are many of us who do NOT know who we TRULY are… deep down inside, behind the surface fronts. I think it’s ridiculous that many people live in the dream worlds they have created. They live in their front, and believe it to be true. They lie so much, front so much that eventually, it becomes their alter ego in a sense. They start to BELIEVE their own lies.

What I believe is that once upon a time, we all had a sense of self. As we grew older, we began to realize that in order to survive or maintain in this world, a front must be created, like I said, an alter ego. What happens though, is that many resent who they TRULY are therefore they formulate fronts sampled off of who they would like to be.

Many people don’t like who they REALLY are, so they live in the worlds they create for themselves. Yes. Many hold feelings involving self-hate. The formulation of a front is a way to escape who you TRULY are as a person. Yet, what they don’t realize is that you can’t run and hide forever. In order to be the person you picture yourself being, changes must occur and you must first start from within.

Yet, this is not just about fronting in general, it’s about what these fronts represent and how they are formulated. Most people have fronts they formulate after things deemed socially accepted at the moment in time. They then form lies to support this and put the act on and their front becomes who they are in the eyes of others.

Most people I seem to encounter though, don’t know who they truly are anymore. They have yet to take the journey to Grown-up Land. This journey doesn’t have complete set rules, as to when and how it will occur. Most of us don’t take the boat when it comes, instead, we stay where we are and never fully mentally take it to the next step.

It all begins with the self. Self-discovery is a wondrous thing, and it can be completely shocking and mind blowing. Sometimes, you’re not going to always like who you TRULY are as a person, deep inside. You meditate on yourself and delve deep into who you are, what you want from life, what your expectations are, your future. The deeper you dig, the more you start to realize who you are. Once you know who you are, you can make changes to becoming a better you.

Until that happens though, you begin to analyze who you are, why certain things have occurred, and more importantly, who your friends are. Most of the time, the people that gravitate towards us, happen to share similar traits with us. When you analyze yourself and start to get the bigger picture, you realize that in order to succeed, negativity must be extracted from your life.

This negativity comes in different forms, most often in character traits. When you notice the negative in you, you notice the negativity your friends possess too. This is the same time you will learn that people in your life play different roles, and they should be categorized into sections. You learn that not all can be trusted, but all play a significant role.

You will have friends you will ONLY party with, yet never share secrets with. There will be friends who feel like are your kindred spirits. There are many roles to be played, and you will realize this. You will realize that not all that smile, smile genuinely and that misery does love company. Yet what will be the deciding factor in keeping certain people closer than others will be on your vision of your future. This is because you’ll learn that birds of a feather really do flock together.

If you wish to be successful, you must surround yourself with successful people. You must surround yourself with positive people. People who share your vision of life. People who share your true interest. This positivity will help you become the person you see in your future. The negativity though, needs to be cut and for most people, this is the hardest thing to do.

You see, when you finally realize what has been holding you back, you become conscious that many of your closest friends possess the very same qualities you’re trying to rid yourself of. What does this mean for many of these friends? Well, you can either help them better themselves or cut them off. Most people will have to be cut off.

These are the people, who bring the constant drama into your life. The people who, love it, live it and keep it going. The same people MUST be cut off to succeed. If your life were a garden, these people would be the snakes and weasels infesting it.
Many of these people are secret haters, who hate on your success. Many are two-faced and talk shit behind your back. In many cases, whether or not you are aware of this, most people, won’t cut these people off. Instead, they keep them around and ultimately do damage to themselves. Understand that many of them are serious poison to who we are and what we’d like to grown into becoming.

Another reason people won’t cut people off, that I’ve witnessed, and it STILL baffles me is the amount of people who LOVE the drama. The excitement, the stirring of people, the gossip, people seem to love it all. This is why tabloids sell so much, why people love TMZ and reality television. They love the fucking drama. Some people live for this shit and feel like their lives are empty and boring without the drama to make it exciting.

This has been evident many of times, during my observations. I’ve seen people who were NOT happy in a relationship that had no arguments. They would go as far as cheat, just to create some drama in their lives. I’ve seen people get sucked into the drama of others and sit there not wanting to rise and leave the show. All in all though, know that this is NOT normal and should not be the lives we wish to live.

Yet, it stuns me every time I hear someone who loves the drama claim that they don’t. If you have never sat down and analyzed who YOU are as a person, you should. You never know what you’re going to find, but I warn you that many of us are hypocrites, and we don’t even know it!

The last note on that is that growing up and cutting the drama out of your life can be BORING at times. Yes, it can be. It can be lonely when you realize you’ve cut all your friends off and you’re home alone on a Friday night. My best advice for these trying times is the following: 1. Make NEW friends who are positive people and share your goals and 2. Idleness IS the devils playground, when you are busy, these things just don’t bother you. So take up a new hobby, read, learn something new, either way, spend your time as constructive as possible.

Back to fronting and the formulation of them…. So, the media and our peers DO have a HUGE say as to what we portray ourselves to be. Men want to be more suave to get all the bad bitches, so they front like they big balling. In all actuality though, they broke and live with their mama. Women front like they don’t wanna fuck, but in all actuality… many of them do!

My favorite trend front is the one where girls claim they’re bisexual. Bisexuality for women is a hot topic and many men would give their left nut for a ménage, so what do these chicks do? Lie and claim bisexuality to appeal to men. This one really ticks me off and as a bisexual woman, I’d like to take the time now to say this: if you have NEVER eaten some pussy, then you ain’t bisexual…. PERIOD! You fronting ass bi-curious bitches help give real bisexuals a bad name.

There are plenty of examples that I could run through, but instead, I’d like you to just think about it. Open your eyes, look around and analyze what goes on around you and you’ll see the trend fronters. They are all around us and most people are sheep to them, as they flock to these trends making them even more popular.

You see, most people, no matter how unique they think they are, are really sheep. They go with the times and follow the trends. Most of our feelings about certain topics in society, the way we feel about ourselves and others… have all been formulated by others. If certain things were not set in place, we would think about life and people in a completely different way.

If there were no double standards amongst the genders, if the current dating and mating rituals didn’t exist, if there was no media…. What kind of a world would we live in? A completely different one. If someone hadn’t deemed something good or bad hundreds of years ago, would the world be the same today? No.

These ideas and theories didn’t just come from thin air. They did not formulate over night, and a lot of the ideas, theories and stigmas we carry today were decided way back when. The way that many men and women view one another, wouldn’t be the same if society and the powers that be hadn’t stepped in and molded it that way.

These are things that should be thought of during self-discovery. You shouldn’t just analyze yourself and your actions, but all those around you. You should question things. You should try to think of things from different perspectives… not just the black and white areas, but the entire spectrum. Broadening yourself, and your mind will broaden your horizons and ultimately broaden who you are as a person.

So, before you run off and tell people how you’re different from others, wait. Think about who you are, and what makes you so different. What are your strongest character traits? What is your personality like? What do you have to offer a mate? (Real talk, you CANT ask for shit that you don’t possess.)

To wrap it all up, growing up is HARD to do, and many of us will never mentally achieve that goal. Some of us are too busy following trends and fronting like our lives depend on it. Some of us love the drama that surrounds us and just can’t seem to function normally without it. Yet, at the end of the day, before you can call yourself a SHEPHERD, you need to know WHO you really are, behind the mask. Soul searching can be tedious, it can be shocking, and tiring, but at the end of the day understanding yourself helps you better understand those around you. So, next time your alone and have some time to delve into yourself, ask yourself this… Are you a SHEPHERD or a SHEEP?